Women's History Month: My Secret Life as a Feminist

March is Women's History Month! Once a week during March my blog with be dedicated to women in history and how far we have come in the last century.

Today, I want to start by sharing a little secret... I'm a feminist. I'm sure those close to me have guessed, but it's not something I speak openly about because I come from a somewhat conservative family and definitely married into one. I attribute being a feminist to being raised by a single dad. I had more than enough love, but I was never coddled or handled with “kid gloves.” My dad always taught me that I should learn to take care of myself (be emotionally and financially independent) and I was expected to excel in everything I did in life. It was made clear to me that I was not inferior because of my gender. My dad would always, always tell me I could do anything my male counterpart could, and I should grow up to be strong and independent. My dad also reminded me of the importance of being a lady and caring for others, but under no circumstances was I to ever believe I could do less or deserved less because I was a female. Really, all my feminist ideals comes from my dad. Weird, huh? I think it's awesome he raised his girls to be strong women... and my sister and I are!

There are some common myths about feminism that I would like to debunk, but before I do I would like to remind everyone this these are my opinions only. Other women may have other ideas of what feminism is to them. This is what is means to me.

1. All feminists are bra burners and man haters. First, I think not wearing a bra is disgusting (that was supposed to be funny). However, I like that we have the choice to wear one or not. If I ever meet you in “real life,” have no fear, I will have a bra on. Second, feminism isn't about bringing down men, it's about bringing up women. It's about demanding and working towards women having equal social, political, economic, and religious rights as men. It's about coming together and supporting others in your gender. It's about striving not to judge other women or judge ourselves against other women, bring others down with gossip and pettiness, or let men dictate how we treat each other. Did you know that men can be feminists too?

2. Marriage and having a family don't fit into feminist ideals.
Let's start with marriage. I've known that I have wanted to be a wife since I was eight years old. I've always been excited about the idea of sharing my life with someone. I have now been married for six years. Nick was well aware of several things before we even got engaged, those being (1) my opinions will never be second fiddle to yours (2) I will work and will never be a kept woman, and (3) don't expect cooking and cleaning because I suck at both (and I'll be working the same amount of hours you do each week). I think it takes a man who is really strong in himself to accept terms like that. I could never been with a man who expected to me to be a domestic goddess. It's just not who I am. I feel that Nick and I have a very healthy marriage. When making decisions both our views and opinions are taken into consideration, he does his own wash, and we figure dinner out together.

Me on my wedding day - March 1, 2008

However, I still love to serve my husband. It's probably because I want to and I'm not expected to. Loving my husband will be the greatest job I'll ever have in my life. It's my greatest job because I know his greatest job is loving me. I get tons of satisfaction out of being a wife and serving my husband. Have you ever heard the saying, “Behind every great man is a great woman”? I hate that! For Nick and me it's more like, "Beside every great man is a great woman,” and I am so strong in that conviction. I'm not behind or in front of my husband, I am right next to him. I also love the fact that I work and if Nick were to lose his job we'd still have something coming in and I could keep us afloat for a bit. We support each other – side by side.


Happily Ever After

 Now on to the topic of children. I don't want children and I do not plan on having children, and it's not because of any of my values. It's because I don't feel God has put that on my heart. Nothing in my being desires to be or feels like I should be a mother. From a feminist point of view, I think having kids is awesome! That's one thing we can do that no other gender can! Plus, there are now plenty of working mothers who are able to keep their independence outside of the home. 

Me with my nieces and nephew. They light up a big part of my life.

3. All feminists are liberals. Wow, this has been a risky post today! I don't really like to bring up politics on my blog because it tends to get people really fired up, but here goes... I don't feel connected to a political party. I'm socially liberal and economically or financially conservative. There are few things I know for sure about myself (1) I really straddle the line (2) the issue at hand really dictates where I fall (3) I'm a God loving girl (4) I don't believe that the government should tell a women OR a man what she or he can or cannot do with her or his body, (5) I support the right women in high positions of business, military, and government, and I support female pastors, (6) a man should get down on his knee and propose, and (7) I fully believe in and support the notion that women can do whatever men can and deserve the opportunity to prove it.  

I hope you'll stick around this week for some less opinionated posts that really share the history of women's rights. Come back to learn more about some pretty cool ladies who got us to where we are today.